Your dad touched me again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
