Its about making memories worth repressing
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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