I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i already hear my dad disowning me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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