so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
