i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize