I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize