just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
