What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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