It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
