I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
