The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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