so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
