id be glad to
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
where am i from again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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