this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize