Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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