The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
