she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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