whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize