i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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