you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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