Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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