You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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