im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
