Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
