I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
