I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize