smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i think my cat just said my name.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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