Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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