He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
