I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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