Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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