I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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