is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
