I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
