So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
