She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
