i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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