im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize