Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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