Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
