oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Someone signed my nipple.
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