So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
