is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Randomize
