Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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