i jhust puked up my retainher.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
