I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
