True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
