bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
