You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
