Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
