Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
