I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
