North Korea, Best Korea!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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