He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
