after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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