Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
