He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
MIDGETS
????
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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