So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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