She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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