Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
